Alex tells Kara
by Fangirling It 7
Summary: This is my take on Alex trying to tell Kara that she is gay and has feelings for Maggie.
1. Chapter 1

_I know nothing. I am really enjoying this season so far. I have to say I am already shipping #sanvers pretty hard. That being said this is my take on Alex telling Kara that she is gay/ has feelings for Maggie._

 _Reviews welcome._

 _Flashbacks will be in italics._

I sat alone at the pier. Something about the water always calms me down. It reminds me of the fishing trips Dad used to take me on before Kara. We stopped going as often after Kara came to live with us because she didn't really like the hours on the boat. Then after Cadmus took him, it always reminded me of him. I would look out and wonder what he would say if he was here. I know he would be upset that I yelled at Kara.

It's been such a weird few days and I know I took a lot of my own anxiety and stress over everything out on Kara. I can't stop thinking about what Maggie said about me at the crime scene. And then what I had confessed later that night about my love life. If I was a... if I was what Maggie had said it would explain so much. Why I never really enjoyed sex with guys. I was always happy with just hanging out with my date, the date would always get less enjoyable for me shortly after the first kiss. Maybe it was one of the reasons I wouldn't date Maxwell Lord after Myraid. I had always chalked up that refusal to the fact that he had endangered Kara's life and had obstructed the DEO progress on cases, but maybe there had been more to it than that.

Ever since meeting Maggie, I have been feeling, that giddy happy feeling, that I was always told came along with a crush. I think about her a lot, and I am always trying to find legitimate reasons to text her. When she told me her girlfriend broke up with her I felt happy for a second before I realized she was really upset by it. I had just thought I was happy to have a friend outside of the DEO and Kara.

But now; now I know it's because, "I am gay." I breath deeply and I feel this almost physical weight being lifted off me. I feel more relaxed then I have in years. I feel a tear coming down my cheek, I swipe it away giving a small laugh because I didn't even realize I was crying.

I hear the tell-tale swish behind me of Kara landing. I brush the tears away from my face again before she reaches me. Seeing Kara after I kind of blew up at her immediately makes me feel bad again and I think back to our argument this morning.

 _I decided to go by Kara's apartment before work to try and talk to her about the whole Maggie thing and the whole other thing. I was hoping that if I went by in the morning it might decrease the chances of us getting interrupted again. Though when Lena Luthor had come by the other day I was kind of relieved, I wasn't sure how to say it yet. I'm still not, but after confessing to Maggie I think it will be easier to tell Kara. Hopefully I will be able to actually say it, because I couldn't with Maggie._

 _I decided I would just let myself into the apartment today. I just wanted to talk to Kara about everything that has been going on in the last few days and if she takes too long to open the door I might just chicken out again. I set the breakfast that I picked up on the way here down on the table along with my keys and bag. I long around the room and notice that her window is open I have this mixed feeling of being upset she isn't here, but relieved that she isn't because it means more time to at least make myself say it out loud. I look around for the remote hoping to see what exactly had Supergirl's attention and if it would take long._

 _I went to turn on the TV just as Kara came flying through the window, "Hey, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Kara asks immediately going into freak out mode._

 _Is everything okay? I mean I guess it is, but I am having a major identity crisis. Kara is looking at me and I realize that I haven't actually answered her, "Yea, I'm fine I just wanted to finish our conversation from the other day. The one Lena Luthor interrupted." Emphasizing that last part, hoping that she remembers that I had actually come over to talk about something._

 _She is still looking at me concerned, "Okay, well just let me get changed."_

 _She went into her bedroom to change and I willed myself to breath regularly because if anyone would notice my change in pulse it would be Kara. I know Kara won't care that I am…but I just need to talk all of this out with my sister. I hear her phone go off and she answered. Really. It's like the universe didn't want me to have this conversation with Kara._

 _Kara comes storming out of her room, Snapper is make me rewrite my article. For the third time! I know it was awesome this time. I don't understand why he didn't like it this time."_

 _I try to breath normally. I don't want to yell at her, but this is the second time I've come over here and we have ended up talking about her. I know Kara just has blinders on when something comes up. I know she will get back to wondering why I am here._

 _I keep trying to will myself to keep calm, but I already know that I am going to blow up on her, "In case you forgot I came over to talk about me. For once it isn't going to be about you. It is supposed to be about me. I need to talk to my sister about something important. Something that is happening to me or something I am finally figuring out about myself. Can you just stay focused for two minutes?"_

" _Alex…." Begins Kara._

" _I came over here to talk to you about the fact that I think I am gay or something and that I am pretty sure that I have a crush on Maggie." I just kept yelling at her as I went to gather up my bag and keys and started walking towards the door._

" _Alex…." Kara starts again._

" _Just forget it." I snap and open the door and slam it behind me._

I hear come up behind me and I just look forward. Kara sits down on the bench next to me and looks out at the water. I rest my head on her shoulder and we just sit there for awhile not talking.

I feel Kara shift and she wraps her arm around me and begins to speak, "Alex…. I'm sorry. You're right. Our whole lives have been about me and protecting me, but we are sisters and we are supposed to be here for each other. I'm sorry, Alex we can talk about anything whenever you want. I am here for you, Alex, whatever you are going through I am here for you."

"Kara, I'm gay," I say. It's getting easier to say after saying it to myself.

"Have you always known or is it because of Maggie?" she asks.

"I don't know." I answer honestly, but then I think of something and ask, "Do you remember Chloe Johnson from high school?"

"The girl you went to all those punk rock concerts with?"

"Yea, her."

"What about her?"

"I think she might have been my first crush on a girl."

"What makes you say that?"

"This feeling I have about Maggie; it was the same way I felt about Chloe."

"Why didn't you ever say anything? Were you worried Eliza wouldn't be okay with?"

"I don't know. I guess because I was so used to keeping secrets about you; I just wasn't sure how to say anything and then eventually Chloe and I parted ways and it just didn't seem to matter anymore."

"Alex, I… I wish my being an alien hadn't changed your life so much. I should have been a better sister to you."

"I know, but it did and I have spent my life protecting you and I think I ended up neglecting more than even I realized in my own life."

"Alex, I'm not twelve anymore, you don't have to protect me anymore. I still need you as Supergirl, but as Kara, I need my big sister not a protector. I want to protect you and help you the way you have been ever since I came to live with you."

I smile and put my head back on her shoulder and close my eyes.

"How can I help? What can I do? Do you want to talk about Maggie?"  
"Just sit here with me."

"Of course."


	2. Chapter 2

_As always I own nothing. As always Reviews are welcomed._

 _The first chapter of this story was written after 2x05 aired but before 2x06 did. That is why how Alex comes out to Kara is different than in the show._

 _This chapter was written after 2x0_ 7 _aired and starts after Alex comes back into Kara's apartment after talking to Maggie in the hallway._

"How was that?" asks Kara as I open the door. Damn her hearing sometimes, everyone always thinks the worst part about living with a Kryptonian is the x-ray vision, but for me it was always the hearing. If Kara was paying attention she would hear the fluctuations in my heartbeat.

"Spy much?" I shoot back at her and walk towards the island in her kitchen. She chuckles at the statement, "it was good we are just going to be friends."

"Okay." Kara nods. I'm not sure she believes me, but she lets it go and says, "we are going to find Jeremiah, Alex, I swear."

Between recently discovering I am gay and Kara seeing Dad at Cadmus my tear ducts have been working overtime. Ever since finding out Dad was still alive I've been picturing him being strapped down and experimented on.

"But he seemed... um... okay?" I didn't ask her back at the DEO after I heard she had escaped Cadmus. I just organized a team and went to the location hoping to find him. It was the question I had been most scared to ask. To even think about. What if Dad car back wrong? What if he wasn't the same father or worse what if after fifteen years with people like Cadmus he wouldn't see his family the way he did when he left. What if he blamed us?

"He saved me. And he was still him." I hope she was right and she isn't just seeing the good that is left in him.

"I still can't believe Lena's mother is the head of Cadmus." Well actually I can kind of believe it, but I can't keep thinking and talking about Dad. There isn't much more to say until we find him.

"I wonder if she knows."

"I want know what Cadmus wants with your blood." Kara echoes my curiosity. I hope they aren't trying to make another Bizzaro, cause that was just...odd.

"Hey so we can't decide what to watch, Winn said that you two should pick between Wynonna Earp, it's based off...a... comic series or this some sort of medical show, Grey's Anatomy, where the doctors sleep around or he said something about a show called Glee where they...sing?" says Mon-el as he comes into the kitchen on his crutches.

"Uh no to Grey's Anatomy, too much relationship drama for the night." I say.

"We should watch Glee! Alex never wants to watch it with me." Kara practically shouts.

"Or... we could try this Wynonna Earp. Anything to avoid you singing along like you are apart of the cast." I say.

"Fine. Dash my dreams of becoming a singer," says Kara in an overly dramatic tone. I fling the towel in her direction. She catches and begins to laugh. We head into her living room and settle into watching Winn's choice for the night.

We watched a few episodes before the boys took off. Winn said he would drop Mon-el off at the DEO in order to sleep.

"So are you sure you can handle being friends with Maggie?" asks Kara.

"I don't know. She said she liked me, but because I'm 'fresh off the boat' and the situation is just weird. So I told her pool tomorrow night." "Fresh off the boat?" Oh, that's right I never could get the words out after Maggie told me that. I remember only telling Kara that Maggie didn't like me like that, but I couldn't get much more out after that.

"Yea, after I kissed her last week. She told me that everything was new and shiny and that she'd be there as a friend, but that she didn't want me because I'm so new to all of this."

"So does Maggie like you? Cause tonight it certainly sounded like she has some sort of feelings for you."

"I... don't know what she is feeling for me, but we are just going to be friends. We're going to play pool tomorrow night."

"So do we tell Eliza that I saw Jeremiah at Cadmus when she comes for Thanksgiving?"

"I think we have to. She should know what is going on."

"Are you going to tell her about Maggie?"

"I know I probably should, but I'm not sure. We have a lot more important things to talk about when she gets into town."

"Alex, you coming out is important to. You can't just put your life on the back burner. So tell her, you could tell her at dinner. Or before since the guys are coming over."

I've been thinking about how best to tell Mom, but nothing had really come to mind. I mean I am almost thirty and now I am gay and I like women, well I like one woman in particular, but I have been noticing other women when I go out. I wish I didn't feel like I was back in high school and I felt like I know what I am doing. Maggie did say this would get easier and that I should tell my family so maybe I will have another coming out this Thanksgiving. Hopefully this is the last Thanksgiving I have to hear the phrased used in my direction around Thanksgiving.


End file.
